i thought that by not entertaining the issues, i would dodge another breakdown. now im defeated and treading towards the road to depression.
a few days ago, i was plagued by a couple of interesting characters of my past. one called me and the other was just there by coincidence. nevertheless, my peaceful mind was inevitably roused.
i tried not to be affected–as usual. that was my defense mechanism going into hyper drive. that as much i could i would put out the thoughts of why they started popping up like mushrooms after the rain. just as i put my guard down for a fraction of a second, the ideas that were tucked away started to take over me.
why was i alone? why havent i done anything with my life? why havent i moved on?
the same old pathetic questions came flooding back. so did the tears and the feeling of disdain towards life. if it were a different day, i would have ignored it. but i was already verging on melancholic binge. so i succumbed.
so here i am again. waiting for someone to slap me back to reality. maybe i need a good cry. maybe i need people around me again. too many maybes just fuels my sulking. maybe..
*
on a brighter note, there is a glimmer of hope for me. i have gone through this before and i was able to snap out of it and make it in one piece. and i have jelo to listen to me blabber about all about my fucked up mind. if only i would let his advice pierce through my weakened spirit, everthing will be golden again. soon. i hope..

how can i resist? and he’s more than just those luscious lips.