ive been spending a huge chunk of my days talking to people. day in day out. then i started to realize whats goin on. its fun and takes my mind off a lot of issues in my fucked up life. but i feel a little tug in me that warns me not put too much thought in these pointless conversations. mainly because i do not want to make the same mistakes i made in the past. not this time. maybe i want to put the image that ive grown up and grown wiser. of course, thats all a facade. im older, yes. wise? i highly doubt that. im still that giggling school girl–spending hours on the phone with someone i wish would like me for more than just friends. so now, im more cautious than wise. im more careful with what i take in these friendships. i dont read too much into whats said to me anymore.
i wonder, however, if that holds me into indulging myself into falling for someone again. i guess if its time, it’ll present its importance to me in ways i hope i can recognize.
now i wish more than ever that im wise (or sober) enough to see that.
